Week 8 of the 2023 season
Gather 'round, fantasy football fanatics, because things are about to get eerily exciting in the world of pigskin competition. The Halloween moon is rising high in the night sky, casting an ominous glow over our league. The top four face off this week in what is sure to be a crazy one. Will we see Ian and Nikith extend their lead, or will Pete and Dean claw back? Will Kiran and Aidan keep rising? Only time will tell.
Ja'Martians (JAM) vs. Hall of Lame (HOL): The Battle for Cups on the Table
Sleeper predictions: JAM 136.16 – HOL 139.03
Expert spread: HOL -2
In a chilling twist of fate, this week's matchups promise to be spine-tinglingly exciting. Dean's Ja'Martians, led by his otherworldly talent Ja’Martian, are set to face off against Ian's Hall of Lame, a team known to dress up as Dodgeball characters for Halloween. Ian is coming off of a massive win to separate from the pack, and his team is absolutely cooking. His running back room is deep and Sam La Porta has been LePorta with the amount of glaze he’s getting. Dean’s team took an unfortunate loss last week with Bijan’s pre-Halloweekend hangover going crazy, but this week will probably be a bounce back. We expect this one to be close between two of the league’s best teams. Will Dean's team's alien expertise prove superior to Ian's lame, but fundamental play? This will be a haunted highlight reel like no other.
Taylor.. Kelce (TK) vs. One World Trade Center (BOMB): The Battle of F1 Dickriders
Sleeper predictions: TK 140.95 – BOMB 133.54
Expert spread: BOMB -6
Taylor Kelce is moving to NYC this week, finally having gained full-time employment, and facing off against Finance Bro Boss Saagar Basavaraju. Saagar is coming off of one of the most embarrassing losses of the season, while TK is rising and took a far less embarrassing loss. Saagar’s team is falling like the buildings that used to stand where his team’s home is now. Will Aayush's team, boasting the electrifying Travis Kelce, unleash a frightful performance? Or will Saagar's team, like the iconic tower, stand tall against the power of Jackson Mahomes and Travis Kelce? We see Saagar taking a bounce back win this week and having his team finally come together.
Pukachu I choose you (PUKA) vs. Deshaun Really (D?R?): Battle of the Gamers
Sleeper predictions: PUKA 135.90 – D?R? 137.44
Expert spread: D?R? -1
Nikith's Pukachu I choose you is channeling electric energy to challenge Peter's Masseuse costume in this week’s HALLOWEEKEND GAME OF THE WEEK. Two of Our league’s top three teams (Aidan TM) are facing off in what is bound to be an absolute spectacle. Nikith is coming off of the most impressive win of the season while Peter just lost to Big V. Nikith’s team is struggling mightily with injuries, especially at the RB position, which could play a role this week, in addition to Chris Olave’s arrest. Meanwhile, Pete’s team will probably have to change their name as Deshaun REALLY looks terrible. To this fantasy football player, it looks like this will be a bounce back week for Peter. But, will Nikith's team, electrifying as a lightning bolt, zap the competition into submission? Or will Peter's Deshaun Really prove that his team's namesake is not just a clever play on words but finally live up to his ability to touch the other team? This is the game of the week.
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (MMC) vs. Herbie Fully Loaded (HFL): Battle for Snacks
Sleeper predictions: MMC 121.11 – HFL 133.98
Expert spread: HFL -17
Halloweekend, what a magical time of the year. You can just imagine Aidan getting readyto go out in his Mickey Mouse costume, hoping to score a magical 10. Yet, just like every Halloweekend, it ends in disappointment for aidan, as he comes back with a 3. This will be no different in this week’s fantasy football matchup, which we see going dramatically in favor of the HFL. Trader Joes doesn’t take Halloween off and neither does Lorcan. The mickey mouse clubhouse is looking as mickey mouse as ever, starting backup quarterback Taysom Hill because Brock the cock is out in concussion protocol. Meanwhile, HFL gets everybody healthy and with a favorable matchup for Justin Herbert, the Chargers can finally play decently. By the end of this Halloweekend, Lorcan will be waving a wand and saying “Hi, I’m Lorcan, and you’re watching Disney Channel” because he owns Aidan’s sorry franchise and has more snacks than Aidan.
Tuffington U Rizzlers (TUFF) vs. Two Plate Club (TPC): The Battle for Tennis
Sleeper predictions: TUFF 116.19 – TPC 123.89
Expert spread: TUFF -4
Lastly we’ve got our two tennis besties facing off in what is the equivalent of Wimbledon for these two franchises. On one side of the court, we’ve got Kiran in a cosplay of Roger Federer and on the other side we’ve got known anti-vaxer Vamsi “Novak” Chavali. The two plate club has risen recently, but the Tuffington U Rizzlers have also acquired significantly more rizz as they’ve won 3 straight. Kiran’s elite combination of absolute randos D’Onta Foreman and Darrell Henderson will have to take on AJ “I want to trade this dumb fool” Brown and bald-ass MFer Joshua Dobbs. We see this one being any easy win for the king of Wimbledon, who looks to rise to .500 with a fourth straight win that will surely send him surging up power rankings.